Papa..

My earliest memories with dad are playing “sarukumaram” on his long legs, waiting for him to come home from office so that we could go for a scooter ride, listening to old Hindi songs on the radio and watching cricket (yes, good old 90’s cricket!). I used to request him to ask questions from textbooks/notebooks the day before my class tests. The day he couldn’t ask me I would feel so nervous about the exams. One fine day, he decided to end this system as a result of which I had to start studying independently. It hit like a disability and I failed the test due to lack of confidence.

 “A short-term stern action might have a soft (out of love/concern) long-term objective. Any result is achievable with proper planning and proper training. ”  

All my friends got BSA Ladybirds but I got a BSA Trail Blazer! I learnt to drive a cycle by falling a million times. I used to wonder why he did not hold me forever like the other fathers did. He loved sports and adventure. He made sure we availed all the LTAs and saw many places in the country in an attempt to understand its beauty and culture. He taught me to drive a car in class 10!

“Girls should have grace but they must never be weak or too delicate and dependent on others. See places, meet people, dare to go beyond your limits. Learn to adjust with anything, because you will be rewarded in the end.”

Even with work, he knew how to learn continuously. I used to laugh at his drawing skills while I was at school. My father and I joined drawing classes together. I had asked him to come in different batch because my friends kept asking why he had joined drawing class with me. He went on to master the skill of oil painting. Today, his paintings stand on the walls of my home each of which have a mesmerizing story to tell. He used to solve CAT and IAS questions just to test his own knowledge and learn more. He used to experiment a lot, repair a lot of things by himself.

“Knowledge is everywhere around you, you need to grab it. No matter how old you get, never stop learning. It only comes with humility-humility of not being greater than Vidya- or knowledge. Never kill the childlike curiosity inside you.”

Today I work as a software professional, but if I think back and trace where my interests were first instilled, it again reminds me of dad. Those were the days of paid mailbox, good old windows 98 whose most fascinating component was Paint and the only place where you could take a printout of your document/drawing was your father’s office with only one cabin that had A.C for computer mahashayji! Computers fascinated me then and they continue to even now. I learnt BASIC at the age of 10!

“The greater you are exposed to things in childhood, the easier it is later on in your life.”

He always had time to do what he loved. He always had time for people around him. He always had time to teach me and listen to the funny/masala things that happened at school. Even the couple who worked as cleaners for us, used to look up to him like a demigod. Anyone going from our society area to the main road got a lift in his car if he was going that way.

“Life is not about your achievements or how much you earn-it’s about how happy you are. When you respect and love people around you, these achievements come your way automatically. No matter what, try to keep yourself and others around you happy. Never stretch yourself so much that you do not have time for the things that you love. No profession is bigger or better. Do your job with dignity.”

He was proud of his wife and children and celebrated their achievements. I still remember how my trophy broke once and he rushed to get it welded. He had kept the trophy on his desk and each customer at his bank was told about my achievement. He trusted us with everything and gave us all the freedom.

“Grooming others is not about restricting them- it’s about giving all the freedom and developing the conscience of forming their own boundaries in their mind.  Nothing else works as well as encouragement.”  

Happy birthday, Papa! The void can never be filled, but I can feel you in everything good around me! Thank you for everything!

Dear young gentlemen,

Learn from your father. Learn to appreciate his way of showing love- trying his best in getting you a gadget, vehicle, buying/renting suitable property, investing for you in insurance, mutual funds, etc.  to make YOUR future comfortable and secure. Observe how hard he works to give YOU comfort. Learn how he expertly does the income-expense calculations for the family. Observe how he silently organizes everything. Learn how he respects the female members of the family by giving the right proportion of protection, freedom and training. Ask him to avail the casual leaves he is entitled for every year. Ask him if he has any pending wishes that would make him a child again – something that he loved doing in his childhood (kite flying, boat riding, pallanguzhi, anything). Take him to the places he lived during his childhood days. Play his favorite song and just see the smile on his face! Make sure you pester him to take his health-checkups in time. More importantly, ask him to speak out, open up because often the heart fails because there is so much inside untold and unshared. Do not wait for his retirement for you to take all these initiatives. He might not be perfect, nobody is. Accept him as he is and learn from his mistakes.

Dear young ladies,

We get that extra soft-corner in our fathers’ hearts. We all love our fathers, don’t we? All the above things that I mentioned can be done far easily by us, but do we take the pains? Understand why he says NO for something. Understand that he sometimes takes certain measures so that we learn and benefit from them. If any guy even remotely exhibits the kind of love your father has for you, marry him!  Hold onto your father, he needs you forever.